You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
