I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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