dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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