Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
a search helicopter?!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
