i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
