she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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