Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
