My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry my hands just texted you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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