Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
