Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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