please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
