Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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