As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
