Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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