Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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