The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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