using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
