Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
