You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
