There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
