He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
