I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize