Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
