hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
