I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we made out on top of his cat.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i now understand why vodka
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
