so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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