The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
