And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize