I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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