we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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