that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
