Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
