you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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