so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
