I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
