P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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