No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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