i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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