my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
