Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
