my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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