your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
