Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
