Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
