I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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