how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
