She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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