Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
