You can't special order awesome
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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