and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
