She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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