I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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