a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
