Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
