He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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