Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
