Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
