so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
