i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
