I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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