Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
