Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
