weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
